Monday, August 25, 2014


What I looked like after cupping
Yep call me what you want but I will just about try anything once, as long as its legal and not against what the bible says.  
Today I went for an acupuncture treatment.  
Oh boy, I always enjoy how I feel afterwards.  
And today....was no different.

However Jerry, the  acupuncturist did a procedure called cupping.  It really has not been "proven" to work but many non traditional holistic medicine people believe it does.  

Basically here is the low down....a suction cup, a diabetic type needle and weird round bruising afterwards ^ as picture shows above.  

I try all kinds of things and enjoy learning alternatives to modern medicine, cupping included.  Although it looks like it must have hurt, it really didn't.  In fact, I left feeling very rejuvenated and refreshed.  I had tons of back pain and shoulder pain and left with no back pain and minimum shoulder pain. 

I love the look I get when I tell my boss what weird thing I'm doing now.  Most he would never try and laughs on the inside and outside at me when I tell him what I have done or are doing.  
 I enjoyed very much letting him know I will be leaving to have needles stuck in me, on purpose.  

Although I had no idea about the cupping I agreed to it and hope that I see extra relief from it too.  I text my boss to see if he knew what cupping was.  I know him pretty well and he most likely googled it.  I never heard back from him so i figured he is still shaking his head and laughing at me...oh and thinking what a freak I am.  

All the above might be true but the one thing I do know is that my back and shoulder feel better, and I don't have to take any medicine that will destroy my liver. 

So since that is the case I will be returning on Wednesday for more that sounds weird :) 

"I don't want to pray"

On Saturday I overheard my husband talking on the phone and what I heard coming out of his mouth is not something I want to hear again.  My oldest daughter had been held up at gun point at a local bank.  A gun had been pointed at her head and $3000 of her companies money taken from her. 

She was not by herself another employee was in his car not far and tried to protect her but the gun was then turned on him.(please pray for him. He is having a hard time and I don't know if he is a believer)  

As I sat holding my 5 month old, freshly bathed, grand daughter I began to cry.  I knew she was safe, I knew he had not harmed her physically, he had not harmed her coworker physically, but I knew then he had taken something.....her sense of safety.  

Tons of emotions went through my head and I began to thank God for keeping her safe.  I had actually been praying for her all day.  A friend and I had gone to lunch and within a 30 minute period of time 2 prayers were lifted up for her regarding another situation.  I had no idea that God would be answering our prayers for her that day in a much bigger way.  

As I waited for my baby girl to get home I called upon some prayer warriors to pray for our family, for Jelissa.  I literally called people, I posted on Facebook and I called upon our lifegroup to pray pray pray!!! And let me just say no one let us down.  We had text messages and calls coming for 24+ hours.  We had people willing to drop everything and come to our house if we needed and we had people posting on their Facebook pages to pray for Jelissa.  I loved seeing the Church lift her up and cover her in prayer the way they did.  

When my baby walked in the door I knew she would need her momma, and she sure did.  Her head immediately hit my chest and tears ran. As I held her I thanked God over and over for allowing me to hold her again.  

It was a long night of talking and talking and crying but we finally made our way to bed.  Jelissa did not sleep all night but her brother woke up and came down and watch TV all night with her.  (Sure glad it was a Saturday night)

As I went to bed the event kept playing over and over in my head.  It was hard to stop thinking about it.  Eventually I found myself thinking about the man who had done this to my daughter.  I felt so many emotions.  I keep hearing God tell me to pray for this man.  I remember rolling over and thinking 
"I don't want to pray"
I eventually did give in and found myself being obedient to God.  I did pray for this man who had done this horrible thing to my daughter.  I have prayed for some hard things in life but this was close to the top.  
Forgiving a man who holds a gun to your babies head, and asking that he finds God that night was hard but I did it.  I will continue to do it so that hatred and anger will not build up in my heart as Satan would like it to.  

God never said this road would be easy or this life here would be easy, He did however say we would never be alone.  I am so glad that He is with me, He is with Jelissa and that He was with her that night!  
He is so Faithful!!!

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Doterra Wellness Advocate


I recently became a Doterra Essential Oil Wellness Advocate.  I'm super excited.  I began to use essential oils around 2 months ago because I needed to find an alternative way to help my daughter who has ADHD.  

We had tried medication last year and it turned her into a little girl who ended up being scared to walk on grass, and refused to separate from us.  It got so bad that when she started Kindergarten after several weeks she was crying everyday, rocking under her desk, and having so many melt downs that she was unable to continue school due to her emotional break downs.  

I normally don't share this much about my kiddos.  I feel that in order for you to see the whole picture you have to know the beginning.  So we pulled her out of school, took her off all ADHD medications which included stimulates during the day and sleep aids at night.  And the worse part is NONE of this helped my little girl at all.  In fact it changed her personality and who God had made her.  

Fast forward to 2 months ago......I knew school was going to be starting and I had no idea what we were going to do.  She definitely has ADHD she needs help to focusing and a little side note a lot of people who deal with ADHD also have issues with depressions so this is another area that we have to deal with regularly.  Oils!!  Sounds kind of Witch Doctor to me!  

Seriously I used those words :)

At this point I would try anything and especially something that was all natural.  
I have been using oils for 2 months now.  Is everything perfect?  No she still has had a bad day here and there but it is nothing like it was.  She has started school and in the past 2 plus weeks she has only had 1 bad day.  Which is so much better than it was before oils.

I love these oils.  They have worked for several things in my house from headaches, stomach aches, fevers, and sleep issues.  We use them all the time.  

Would you like to find an alternative to using synthetic medicines.  Would you like to replace your medicine cabinet with Natural Solutions.  Let me know.  I would love to let you know what we are doing in our house.  I would love to show you a Natural Alternative to Modern Medicine.  

More about what oils I’m using coming soon!!

Email questions to

Monday, July 14, 2014

Eagle Lake Camp

My boy went to Camp this past week.  He had an amazing time.  He started the week off wanting to do artery.  Of course the one thing that he wanted to do the most did not happen until Friday the very last day.  He took to artery easily.  I was so proud of him.  His best friend stood behind him and cheered him on.  I was so glad that him and Lucas were able to be in the same group.  They got really close and we really like Lucas and his family a lot.  Camp was the best and D can hardly wait for next year.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Dehydrating Herbs....

So while I was down in Otis Colorado for the 4th of July my wonderful sister-in-law gave me TONS of herbs out of her garden.  I love fresh herbs!!!  However, with that said I was given so many that I began to think immediately what I would do so that I I did not waste any.  

Both her and my mother-in-law have mint peppermint and spearmint growing at their house.  I dug up lots to "try" and grow at my house.  If you know my at all your surprised that my kids are still alive because I don't have a green thumb.  In fact now that I think about it when it comes to gardening I am thumb less, can't grow a thing.  (however I have managed to kept 6 kids alive so that should count for something lol)

Any who.....I brought home parsley, chives, rosemary, Greek oregano, tarragon(I've never used this spice so send recipes please), BBQ rosemary, Greek thyme, spicy oregano, cilantro, sage, and the wonderful basil.  

I had so much that I thought first should I freeze it?  But in the end after much deliberation dehydration won!!!

Spearmint plant that we are putting in the background!

This last picture is mint that I decided not to dry out and not to plant.  I have been putting mint into my water and my ice tea.  Oh boy does it make my drinks taste yummy.  So I decided to leave some in water on my counter to take root.  This here is peppermint but I also have a spearmint one on the counter too.  Sure makes drinking water a whole lot easier. 

Saturday, July 5, 2014

Still In Love

I got to go to Otis Colorado for the 4th of July which is so fun for me and my family.  This year was very different.  My father-in-law just had his second knee operated on in less than 8 weeks.  

It was the first time that I got to see him.  He is doing so good.  I have never seen him on drugs which was very interesting :)  the slurred speech after he took his medications made me laugh. 

He slept a lot and ate very little which is very out of character for him.  He also has a physical therapist come and exercise with him several times a week.  

One of the exercises that he has to do causes him extreme pain.  He dreads doing this exercise and the worse part is he has to do it 2 time a day and it takes him approximately 12 minutes to do.  

I heard him and my mother-in-law talking about him having to go into the room begin.  I sat in the recliner in the living room and I could see my in-laws laying on their bed beginning the exercise.  The next thing I heard was singing.  For the next 12 minutes my in-laws sang hymns while doing the very painful stretching.  

I watched them lay on the bed hugging each other singing hymns.  
It bought tears to my eyes to watch them 2 times each day love on each other.  

I did not grow up seeing parents love on each other like this.  So this is so foreign to me.  I am so blessed to have the privilege to be a part of this love story that is so beautiful. 


Wednesday, July 2, 2014


Yah what in the world is EO.  Well I have recently entered the world of essential oils..I have now attended 2 classes and the more I learn about oils the more I know that I really want to use them for my family. 
God made our body to do amazing things. And when given good nutrious food and natural herbs and vitimans the body can do amazing things all without the synthetics medications drs want to prescribe.

I'm super excited learn as much as I can so that my family can be as healthy as they can be. 


So I've decided not to use facebook anymore. I guess the main reason is it was no longer uplifting to me anymore. I find myself more upset by the comment than anything. I see so much gossip and church bash that I finally had enough. I don't care if you don't go to my church, I don't care if you like hobby lobby or not.  Don't get me wrong I care about people. I care about their relationship with God but using facebook to bash the church is not ok. Jesus loves the church. He loves His people. I love the church, I love His people. It was just hurting me inside. 

In the end facebook was about connect to people seeing their kids, seeing people from far away not a place where I wanted to see peoples political agenda argued or even discuss hobby lobby and birth control. 

By the way that it just a couple reasons for leaving. I also don't like family drama. I don't want to be a part and a good way to avoid it is to not get involved. I don't want to be the facebook family stalker.  
"I wonder if so in so posted anything today, or look she is doing" (and then I'd be upset) which is what I was doing. I'm sure God was really please with that.....NOT

So all in all facebook was not a health place for me and for that reason alone I must step away. 
I will be posting here and on twitter more regularly. 

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

GG Joy & PaPa Paul Visit

Who drives 3 hours one way stays less than 12 hours just to meet their Great Grand daughter.  GG & PaPa.  Rylee Grace is one loved baby girl!

These two have people have been there for me more in the past years more than I can count.  Wow does God know how to pick them.  I got the best husband in the world but how in the world could a girl get so blessed to also get the best Mother and Father in-law in the world.  They have sat on the phone and listened to this girl cry many times.  They have dropped what they were doing to come help me take care of my kids, cook food, clean my house when I could "literally" not get out of the bed".  

"Oh how blessed I am"

The women below holding my grand baby has loved me like her own daughter.  She does not judge my past only looks to how I love her boy.  She prays for me often and tells me often that she does.  Many around me complain about their mother-in-laws how they get into their business all the time and say things that are offensive, mine does not.  

I have not had the best relationship with my own mom in the last few years and that has been very hard.  And while no one can replace the need for your own mom to be there in your life nurturing you, guiding you, helping you, I'm super glad that I do have someone as wonderful as my mother-in-law who will try her best to do what she can to help my fill that void.  I love you so much momma Joy!  

Monday, April 7, 2014

3 Gifts Waited For....

Today I got a phone call from one of my girls letting me know that she will be moving closer to home.  My family has been separated in 3 different states for a while.  Then it went down to only 2 states when Keisha moved home.  Today a waited gift for this momma when a phone call came saying that she will be moving to Longmont only 1 hr and 40 mins away :)
I have been waiting to feel better and today is better than yesterday.  I had a rootcanal on Friday and have been in a lot of pain for several days. I have been taking lots of pain meds waiting to get another appointment.  Today I feel a little better. 
I have been wanting to set aside time to do a few things I love and I have been able to do that the past few days.  It has been nice.  I have enjoyed blogging again, crocheting, and sewing.  
Thank you Lord for all your gifts!! 

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Grandpa and Grandma

I love that my kids have several Grandpa's and Grandma's that have adopted them in the church.  These very special people adopted my family some 15 years ago.  I could not image life without them.  This man not only told me about Jesus but he dunked me and helped me wipe my sins away.  He has answered many questions for me over the year some deep and some dumb but he has never made me feel weird whatever the question.  No matter where I go Stan will alway be my Pastor. 
When I think about a Proverbs 31 women,  Ruth is who ALWAY comes to mind.  This women has a heart of Gold.  She is an amazing women of God.  She loves the Lord with all her heart and it just comes out of her pours.  I could sit at her feet and listen to her for hours.  She loves with all that she is and everyone that is in her presence can feel it.  I have received many phone calls from her asking about my family and how we are doing when we have needed it the most.  (She just knows)
God has put amazing people in my life but non more amazing than these two people.  My kids love them and I love them more than they will ever know.  I thank God for them.   


C Trying to do Grandpa's Hair haha


Thursday, April 3, 2014

Where did the time go?


I can hardly believe that my boy is 7.
7 years old.  Wow life has flown by.  We have had lots happen in the past 7 years. 
The one thing I know for sure is that this boy of mine is like no other. 
His heart is sweet and he loves with all of it.
He loves friend and Lego's so much. 
This boy stole his mommas heart from the moment I saw him.  He is so teachable and wants to please no matter what he is doing. 
D has learned so much this year and although he is only in 1st grade he is currently reading and comprehending at a almost 3rd grade level.  He loves his teacher and loves going to school.  Although I have gone back and forth about homeschooling right now we have chosen not to.
I thank God for my son and I am blessed to be his momma. 
Happy Birthday D you are such a blessing!

Friday, November 8, 2013

Oh boy or girl.

The rambling of a soon to be grandmother......this may make no sense to anyone but me ever but I needed to get it down so that one day I could look back and see how far I'd come.

Almost 2 months ago I got the new that I was going to be a grandma.  
What does a mom who does not have any son-in-laws do with this information.

To say that I was devastated would not have even begin to cover how I felt.  I could not get past the "How could this have happened"
Now being a mother of 6 I knew exactly how it happens.....the sperm swims and finds the eggs......... Yes, I saw "Look Whose Talking in 1989" I think Im showing my age now.  Oh well!

Anyway there were many nights I could not sleep.  I cried myself to sleep.  I had to stop and figure out what all the crying was about.  I literally felt a lost that I had not felt in a very long time in my life.  

As I talked to my other kids.  They could not understand my grief.  They did not understand my anger.  They did not understand why I was still having such a hard time.  

On many occasions my words confused them.  I spoke about my loss.  How I had felt she had stolen from me something I was looking forward to, being a grandmother, and covered it with Sin.  The sin of premarital sex.  
They could not understand how I spoke of loss instead of excitement.  
They could not understand the loss of baby showers due to the loss of celebration of pregnancy.  
They could not understand that I spoke of how her Dad and I felt as if we sinned because of having to go to the church, because WE were in leadership, and telling them about what had happened.  The shame we felt is something they would not understand unless experienced I believe.  

Where I needed understanding from my kids I found more resistance and at times arguments that lead to more hurt.  Where I needed a mom it's going to be ok, I felt I got mom you're not ok.  

Yes this post seems a lot about me.  This really is what its about the internal battle that was going on.  I had to immediately the next day begin to deal with a situation I did not want to deal with.   Less then 12 hours later I was taking my daughter to the Dr because she was very sick.  As everyone continued to discuss what meds she could and could not take I sat in my chair and cried.  I wiped the tears as they slowly ran down my face as I watch my little girl enter into a life I never dreamed for her.  

Oh the tears came and they just seem to not want to stop.  I wiped the water from my face for the dreams I know would never happen for her, for this baby as he or she was now going to be raised by a single parent because dad wanted nothing to do with you at least right now.  The tears came as I remember the hard nights I had.  The tears came as I wondered why God allowed the curse/the generational curse of poor decisions not to be broken even though she had much more than I had and I had tried everything in my power everyday of her life to change this curse.  

I never had the mother who told me to wait until marriage, that following after God's way was best, I never had the mom who supported me and told me I could do anything with God's help.  I did not have a dad or a step dad who loved me with all that he was and would be there for me no matter what.  

The water fell from my eyes because I did not understand why she would make this choice after see how hard it had been for so many years for her own momma.  

But she did.  Not because she did not know better.  Not because she had not guidance.  No because she has freedom of choice.  the choice to make her own decisions away from her momma.   

Isn't this how God set it up.  We all have to do it.  We all have to make the decision at some point.  We all have to make our own choices.  We are all going to mess up.  We all sin.  I made a ton of mistakes.  I still make more everyday then anyone should.  I am always having to come back and say I'm sorry please forgive me.  Oh how I hope I learn something from all these mess ups.  Boy I hope she does too.  
Now she has a choice.  Just like I did.  Who will she choose?  Who will she follow?  Will she change her ways?  Has she learned?  Only time will tell.  

On November 27 I will find out if she is having a girl or a boy.  After many tears and much anger I have finally moving to a different place.......not sure where that is yet just know just glad I'm moving forward.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Ferro...who knew??

saszWhile at Costco a couple weeks ago I stopped and tried a grain that was being demoed as a grain that could be cooked like oatmeal. Of course I was intrigued because I love hot cereals. She had cooked it and added a little maple syrup and some blueberries.
Well those happen to be a few of my favorite I tasted!
I decided to purchase this little grain of yummy stuff. I was told that it could be fixed and eaten like another one of my favorite grains Quinoa.
I have had it in my pantry for a few weeks and still had not used it until last night.

I happen to have 2 left over steaks in my refrigerator from My Hubby's birthday dinner so I thinly sliced those up grilled some onion & garlic, cooked my Ferro and begin putting my mean together.

At the beginning I was thinking this would be more like a cold pasta steak salad but we were hungry so it was hot.

I added a can of dice tomatoes with green chilis to a bowl added the onions and garlic and then added the guest of honor Ferro. I mixed everything together added a little olive oil and I was done.

I quickly pulled out a fresh loaf of bread and dinner was served.

My husband had to take his food to go because of basketball but he let me know when he came home that dinner was GREAT!

Yep I will definitely be finding other meals to cool with Ferro.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Gone forever!!

So my precious baby boy lost his first tooth today.  It has been wiggling around in there for days. The big tooth is already coming in. 
I asked D if I could wiggle his tooth and it just feel out.  Glad I did it or it may have swallowed it in his sleep.(Not sure how much you get if for you tooth if you swallow it)
He looked so shocked at me and says "Good Job Mommy you got it". 
Yep I'm a professional!
I then proceeded to do what any good mother would printerest for ideas.
I had began the search earlier in the week and thought I better print off my letter at work on Monday so that I would be prepared.....that went right out the window.
So I did what any good fairy would do sent Mr Fairy to the store to get fairy dust aka glitter, searched the internet for tooth fairy letters and made a box for his tooth. 
D wrote a letter put the tooth in his box and proudly went to bed one baby tooth less. 
It is forever gone.  It will never be in his mouth again.  Everyday I lose a little bit of my sweet baby as he turns into this God loving, momma heart stealing young boy. 
I can not ever imagine my life without that precious little boy.  He make life so interesting and never never never do I not smile from something he has done or said. 

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

**I blinked **

I tell people all the time when I see that they have twins that they should take lots of pictures and document, document, document because it will go by so fast.

This really is true.  I know first hand.  My girls are now pretty much out of my home and on their own coming home for a couple weeks a year :(

**I blinked**

I remember wishing before Keisha was born that the twins would both be walking good and potty trained.  Only one happened but

**I blinked**

and Keisha is now off to an internship where she will be doing nursery through 5th grade at a big church in Illinois

**I blinked**

I remember thinking about how one day my house would stay clean for longer than 15 minutes

**I blinked**

and now all of my girls will have apartments of their own by this summer and no longer do I get to pick up their barbies, books or tell them to put all their chargers and cords in their rooms

**I blinked**

and they are all grown up.  Beautiful young women running fast after God.  They make me proud everyday.

As I was thinking about this coming year my precious son reminded me that he has a tooth loose.  As I look into his eyes I remember the day I brought him home.  It seems like yesterday.
As I sit and tell Princess Cynthia stories and how happy we were when I got to hold her for the first time, and I hold and  rock little Z and tell her how special we are to have her in our home to remind us of what is important and to slow down I'm reminded

To count it all because this day to shall pass 

and I will have **blinked** and I don't want to miss anything!!

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

1st Day of Preschool

Ms Z went to preschool for the first time.  She was super super excited.  I like with all my kids was very nervous.  The protective mom has come quick with her.  I was worried about how she would do being left all day at school.  

She got a backback from her sister Ms L.  It was a Dora the Explorer backback which she loved.  
As we got ready for school I could see her eyes getting excited about what was to come.  She put on her backpack and was ready to go.  She get breakfast at school so she was not to sure about leaving the house without eating.  The school said she ate all her food and seconds.  

I decided to pick up the girls a little early so I could get the low down on her day.  Her teacher had filled out all her paperwork and it said she did EXCELLENT!!  The teacher had nothing but good to say about her day.  There is only 7 total kids in her class including her.  This is less than on Sunday morning in her Sunday School class.  The teacher thought she might have a hard time during nap time but no Ms Z laid right down and went right to sleep.  

I'm so glad that she had a great day.  She has done so good in her transition.  She is such a delight to be with and around.  She totally loves her siblings and her new Mommy and Daddy and we all love her.  

I was having great conversation with my husband last night and I told him how good God has been to us.  I feel like he is just blessing our socks off through these kids.  We are reaping the blessing God talks about in Psalms 127:3-5

 Don't you see that children are God's best gift
      the fruit of the womb his generous legacy? 
   Like a warrior's fistful of arrows 
      are the children of a vigorous youth. 
   Oh, how blessed are you parents,       with your quivers full of children! 
   Your enemies don't stand a chance against you
      you'll sweep them right off your doorstep.
(message version)

Ms Z on her 1st day :)

Lunch Visit

I love that I have a flexible job to be able to leave when I need to.  This morning when I was dropping off my kid to school he went to get out of the car and ran right into the car door.  Now while it may seem like that was his own fault it was not.  You see we have carpool people who open the door to let him out and then they say things like ok sweetie go fast to class so your not late, ok sweetie we need to get moving so that other kids can get out of their cars and get to class on time.....ect So my son listening to the lady opening up the door is trying to get his backback on while getting out of the car and being told to hurry, hurry, hurry hit the door with his head.  Great way to start the day!  I looked not so happily at the women who opened the door.  She knew what had happened and what part she played and she let me know that she would be taking care of him.  

I decided to park my car, which took 5 minutes and go in and check on my son.  He was sitting in the nurses office looking so pitiful.  I felt horrible for my little man.  I waited with him until he was feeling better an then walked him to class.  He was so excited that I walked him in.  

After kissing me at least 4 times I left.  I was missing my little guy already as I drove away.  I decided to use my flexibility to  leave for an hour and go have lunch with D.  Can I just say that my son was smiling from ear to ear that I just showed up for lunch.  He keep telling me how I was the best mom ever :)  (LOVE THAT BOY)  I then went and played with him on playground for a few minutes.  I kissed my boy and left.  

When I turned around to look at him he was waving and smiling.  Can I just say that only a few tears left my eyes.  That boy just makes me smile!!

Here is a pic of him getting ready to get "beat" by his mom in tether ball.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Skype Date

I got to have a Skype date with my baby girl Keisha last night.  It was so good to see her face and hear her voice all at the same time.  She got to talk to her brother and sisters, which they loved, and interact with all of us.  The kids keep kissing the screen which was to funny.  
I am super excited that I get to see her in 3 weeks.  Kristie and her are driving home to see me and I could not be happier.  I really miss them.

I have been praying for Keisha and her future and she is really wanting to work with kids but not through regular church ministry.  She is now applying for a job at a home for kids.  I am excited to see where God leads her.  I hope that it will be close to Colorado :)  

She has been working at Chic Fila and they have a program that helps kids that she has been looking at doing too.  She has such a big heart and will be great where ever God puts her.  
She will not like that I posted this pic of her but it just reminds me of how super cute she is even with a 3 year olds Tiara on :)

Monday, September 3, 2012


Zoe Melody

Although Ms Zoe has been with us for a few I have not formally introduced her to my blog.  Today I would like to introduce you to the newest member of the Livingston family.  We took guardianship of Ms Zoe about 2 1/2 weeks ago and are planning to adopt her officially after she has been in our home 6 months.  

We were caught off guard by the circumstances that lead up to us being her new mom and dad but we are feeling very blessed to have her in our home.  She is a very smart, bright, happy, 3 year old.  She just had a birthday on August 1st.  She is very big for her age but she is definitely all 3.  

We are waiting for tons of appointments to arrive that will either confirm or deny a previous diagnoses of autism.  We have seen a ton of improvement in behavior and attachment since she has moved in with us so we are just waiting for the doctors to tell us.  If you asked David and I we would say that she is not autistic and has attachment issues and was craving structure and discipline.  We will update as we get more information.  

Zoe has attached herself to her brother and sister like they were together since birth.  She loves them and wants to play with them every waking moment of the day.  She cries when they leave to go to school or any activity where she is not going.  

I have been able to have the opportunity to be with Zoe 24 hours a day since she has come into our home.  After receiving a ton of information from a friend about older children adoption we are trying to follow most of the rules.  David or I are the only ones doing any of her needs.  We do not even let Grandma change pull-ups or feed her.  We are trying to stay in as much as possible but this is very hard with our lifestyle.  I have had the opportunity to be with her almost all her waking moments.  She is bonding very good with me.  She is taken a bit to 100% warm up to David but everyday is better than the one before.  We feel we are in the honeymoon stage right now so we are waiting for after shocks to hit.  We know it has to be hard to understand why the only people you have known all your life are no longer around.  I grieve for the grief she must feel or will feel.  That has to be so hard.  I pray we can give her what she needs as she processes this all out.  

God has been so faithful.  With a 2 year hard transition for me with baby C I begin to dread the next few years.  God has totally made this bonding situation almost instant.  I am so very grateful for that.  I don't know if it is Zoe, or if it is my heart, or if it is the possible autism diagnosis but I just feel different.  My heart has just been entangled by her.  I love her like she has been in our home since the beginning.  Yes I worry about the autism.  I question everyday what if?  I want the best life for her and I don't know very much about kids with any disabilities but after much prayer I'm not scared I'm excited.  Excited about a child with autism, yes.  I know that God created her and that He has a plan for this little girl and I'm excited that He is allowing David and I to be a part of it.  We are excited that she completes our family.  We are excited to see what God shows us and teaches us through Zoe.  She is an amazing little girl who is already making a mark on our family.  

I pray that we will always be looking for God direction in our kids lives.  I pray that God will bond all 6 of my kids together even though the girls are in college.  I pray that they will feel connected even though there is distance because we are one family, one unit, and this family is not complete with out all 8 members.  I miss the girls so much right now.  I have called them with tears in my eyes a lot since they left.  I'm not sure why this semester is so much harder than the others but I'm struggling.  Maybe it is because out family has been together for all major events and them being gone when we got Zoe has been hard for me.  They are all making plans to come home so that they can spend time with Zoe and the family.  I'm awaiting those visits with great expectation.  

So as for the Livingston's we are on another adventure.  We are following after God with all our hearts and listening to him not man when it comes to the direction of our family.  We are trying to not listen to any negativity, which is hard, but we are following what we hear God telling us knowing that blessings are in store for our obedience.